Quote of the Week
"The way to strengthen the nation is to strengthen the homes of the people." -Gordon B. Hinkley
This week I learned about the affects of parenting in different styles such as single, different races, and different genders. I want to focus specifically on raising a child alone. It is such comfort to have the Law of Chasity that prohibits sexual intercourse with another until after lawfully married. Let's just face it, sex leads to kids and if two individuals are living in separate buildings then that is going to affect the child. So I wish to save myself to be able to live and raise a child as a member of a two part team called Parents.
There are three trials or as the author of the textbook "Marriage and Family the Quest for Intimacy" likes to put it as "overloads" a single parent will go through when raising children.
The first is Responsibility Overload-This is where the single parent isn't able to meet all the financial needs of the family from the single income that is trying to provide. Single parents often have to pick up a second job or have to live at an economic disadvantage. "Single mother households have higher rates of poverty than any other group" With the affect of having you or your children who are being raised by the significant other living in a poverty
lifestyle will have great impact on your child’s educational level. Lauer says on page 26 “the lower your social
class position, the lower your educational achievement is likely to be.” So living in a poverty lifestyle will put
your kids on the same path of living in a future of lower class to set further generations in that same predicament that are to come.
Task Overload-Task overload is where the single parent is alone in all the
duties of the home in rearing and raising and providing for their
children. We know as members of the
church the ideal marriage is to have the father out in the world having a job
to provide for the families physical needs where the mother is in the home to
provide for the children’s intellectual, emotional, and spiritual needs. When we have a single parent in the home we
are missing that balance of providing and teaching our children. The parent will get burnt out with the double
duties that they will carry alone, without anyone to share the burden with to
lessen the stress. “Mothers reported
they are able to spend less time with their children than do married mothers.” With less time of parent child interaction
there is going to be less of an influence of the parents morals and values into
the child and the child will start to learn from other sources (which may not
always be the best) to provide that knowledge that a growing child is
constantly striving to incorporate into their everyday lives and behaviors.
The last is Emotional Overload-The previous two were about
providing for the children’s needs, this overload is more focused specifically
on the provider’s needs. With the
provider overloading from work and the home lifestyle that they have made for
themselves they will have higher levels of stress because they get less
individual or socializing time since the kids don’t have another parent figure
in the household to share the parenting with. Also since there is a lack of a
partner to go to vent or communicate any trails or problems with like a normal
marriage things can often become difficult for the parent. “The three kinds of overload can result in
loneliness, a feelings of hopelessness, or various emotional problems.”
I would like to end with a list of stats of what have been reported of the differences of children in single parent homes versus two parent homes.
- Have higher rates of antisocial behavior, aggression, anxiety, depression and school problem
- Less likely to complete high school
- More likely to get involved in early sexual activity and adolescent pregnancy
- More likely to be the victims of abuse
- More likely to use drugs
- More likely have poorer mental and physical health
