Case Study: A NEW NEIGHBORHOOD

Marty Cooper and his wife Kristin had recently moved across country to open a new office for their budding design business. They had purchased a house in a nice area of town. They didn’t know many people and were nervous about this new place since they weren’t close to any family. The local ward seemed cordial, but they didn’t immediately feel a connection with the local members who lived nearby. Many of the member families were retired couples who travelled a lot and were rarely home. To add to their concerns, there weren’t many girls nearby around the same age as their daughter Malia, who just turned 9. But they had felt strongly about moving into the neighborhood and followed that prompting.


Luckily, after a few days in the neighborhood, Malia met a neighbor girl named Sarah who was almost 9. Sarah lived just a few houses down, and quickly the two girls became really good friends. Kristin was pleased to discover that Sarah’s mother, Claire, was an old acquaintance from high school. Kristin had heard from some old school friends a few years back that Claire was a single mother. Kristin was glad to have an old “friend” nearby since the local members of the church hadn’t really reached out to her, and Kristin and Claire instantly felt a connection. What’s more, even though Claire wasn’t a member of the church, she seemed to share all the same standards. Kristin was particularly impressed with how Claire talked about her family prayers and about how inappropriate some of the shows on TV had been for her daughter. Claire seemed to trust Kristin as well and had her watch Sarah while she went into town to run some errands. Claire had done the same for Kristin on many occasions.


Claire worked from home and shared her house with another high school friend, Pat. Pat worked a lot but seemed nice enough, and Claire spoke highly of her. Kristin vaguely remembered Pat and felt that it was great that she could help Claire out. She found it comforting that Pat also shared the same core values as Claire. Because of the move and settling in, Marty and Kristin had forgotten that they had promised to deliver speeches/presentations at a design conference on Saturday and would need to find a babysitter for Malia from 5am until 8pm. They had thought if they couldn’t find anyone that they would just bring Malia along, but the conference coordinator had called to reminded them that the event was to be held in a Casino sono children were allowed. The coordinator also mentioned that if they had to cancel they would need to return the $2400 installment payment they had received for agreeing to participate, not to mention all the great exposure they were going to receive for their new business by presenting. Everyone else they knew who might be able to babysit seemed to be busy or out of town as this was a holiday weekend. They thought they were going to have to cancel, but luckily, Claire was going to be in town that weekend and agreed to watch Malia while they were gone. Problem Solved.


But then, late Friday night before the conference, after a day of playing with Sarah, Malia came home and exclaimed, “Mom! I saw Sarah’s mom kissing Pat just like you and Dad kiss. Sarah says that both of them are her moms. At first I thought that it was weird, but don’t worry, she said they are lesbian and that it is OK.” Marty and Kristin sat Malia down and tried their best to help her understand what she saw. They tried to call Claire to find out more but weren’t able to reach her on the phone. The lights were out at Claire and Pat’s home, so they assumed they were either out or had retired for the evening. Just then the Relief Society president, who lived a few houses down from them, called from out of town to finally welcome the Coopers into the ward and to ask Kristin to teach a lesson on Sunday. Kristin mentioned what had happened hoping to find out that it was a misunderstanding.


The Relief Society president told Kristin that Claire was indeed lesbian but wasn’t surprised that she hadn’t mentioned it. She then informed Kristin that Claire is a leader of the Same-Sex Marriage Coalition planning to place a measure on the ballot to change the current definition of marriage to include same-sex unions. Claire had been featured on their website with strong opinions and felt that the world needed to “grow up” and realize that same-sex couples are just as real as traditional couples.


They will show the same appropriate public affection and will live the same life whether their communities like it or not. Claire had also expressed that they didn’t need to publicize their sexuality just as heterosexual couples didn’t publicize or push theirs. The R.S. President explained that their children are not allowed to play at Sarah’s house, but that Sarah can play at theirs. They felt they didn’t want their children to be exposed to that lifestyle. The R.S. President apologized there wouldn’t be any ward members available to watch Malia. She then asked Kristin if she planned on letting Claire watch Malia now that she knew Claire was lesbian and their daughter might be exposed to that lifestyle at such an impressionable age. Kristin did her best to avoid the question and hung up the phone. She turned to her husband with a look of, “Now what?” Marty quickly logged onto the website and confirmed everything the Relief Society President had told them. Marty was concerned that Claire had expressed a disregard for others’ views by stating she would show appropriate public affection “whether they liked it or not.” Kristin nodded in agreement but mentioned that Claire and Pat seemed to share many of the core standards they did except this lifestyle choice. They were definitely concerned that Malia had come home with the idea that being lesbian was “OK.” Marty felt that they should consider cancelling on the conference so they could take the time to speak with their neighbors and reach an understanding. He felt this was more important than a presentation at the conference. Kristin was very nervous about this idea since the economy was already doing so poorly, and they didn’t have a lot of new business coming in. The Conference would be the perfect push for their new business. Marty agreed but still felt uncomfortable with the new information he had learned.


Marty and Kristin can cancel on the conference; the event coordinator had made this clear, but by cancelling, they will lose the fees they were paid, not to mention the chance for all the great publicity as a new business in the area. The conference made it clear that no children were allowed at the event location. It is most likely too late to call a sitting service and everyone that could have watched their daughter is out of town.


Please answer the following question. Please fill-out the Decision Making Model Worksheet to show how you arrived at your decision: 1. Should Marty and Kristin allow Claire to watch their daughter on Saturday? Why or Why not? Imagine that you are the parent in this situation. What would you do?