Infidelity

Quote of the week: 

“thought is the father of an act. No man ever committed murder who did not first become angry. No one ever committed adultery without a preceding immoral thought. The thief did not steal except he first coveted that which was his neighbor's.” It is important to remember "For as [a man] thinketh in his heart, so is he . . . (Proverbs 23:7).”

I was very interested to find out that there are different kinds of affairs out there in the world.  I always thought that an affair is just something sexual between two individuals.  According to our studies this week there are physical and emotional affairs, but it is broken up into different categories.

The first affair is Fantasy where you have an interaction between an individual and someone that you dont personally know.  So it might between someone on a chat room, a celebrity, a character in a novel, etc... This affair is detrimental to a relationship because it sets a expectation in a partner that may not be currently present in a partner that may even be unrealistic.

Second is Visual which is a where an individual views pornographic images. This is c;assified as a physical affair more than an emotional one due to the fact that this behavior can lead to physical actions that are damaging to an individual.

The third type of affair is an emotional affair that is similar to Fantasy where it involves a attraction to someone that you personally know than has no physical interaction.  This affair is classified as Romantic.  It has the same consequences as fantasy. 

The last kind of affair is sexual classification which is classified as Sexual affair.All the other types of affairs can lead towards this type of affair if continually pursued.


Interestingly women commit more emotional affairs while men commit more physical affairs.  As well when a man finds out his spouse has cheated on him he is usually devastated due to the fact that the wife has physically betrayed him.  While the woman on the other hand feels betrayed due to an emotional bond the spouse created with someone else.

Now affairs are easier to prevent than to repair back to the state a marriage was previously in.  That is why we need to stay strongly tied to our spouses emotionally.  I think the rules should be we need to act as if our spouse wouldnt be ashamed to see any of our actions.  As well for the RMs out there that they should apply the same rules that they had on the mission when interacting with the opposite gender. Rides alone seem to be one of the number one reasons a couple commits to affairs. Try to have more individuals involved or avoid a situation if possible.

Rules of Engagement

Quote of the Week:

" Do not just look at your boyfriend as just a boy.

 Look at him as a friend, too "

With the culture that we grow up with being in the world, but not of the world we have the common misconception of dating then eventually finding someone to marry. Sort of how Bro. Williams puts it all the time, "date em till you hate em" principle.  The church has certain guidelines as to how to date and I will be covering the proper methods that the church would like it's members to do to get to the step of marriage.  

The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints says that dating should not be until age 16, but once reached that point that they should only group date and not pair off and date one another.  The church hasn't come out with an official statement about exclusive dating before age 18 but I believe the church is against any of this.  A mission is one of the highest goals a young man should be striving to live for, and a relationship may hinder a young man from serving the Lord.  I hear lots of times that the guy still went on the mission and the girl waited and something is said like "well I made it work" or "it worked for us".  Now an individual may say this, but being a RM myself I speak when girls don't see everything that their missionaries do out in the mission field and it may hold back these missionaries from giving their full concentrated effort in their work they are engaged in.

Once a missionary is back from his mission or a girl has turned older ages of maturity they can date around to sample and understand what kind of partner they want in life.  Is it someone that is serious a majority of the time or someone that has levity.  Not only do these individuals that date around get to see others that might be possible persons to date, but these individuals learn from their dates more about themselves and what they want and matters most to them in life.

Once we have found that special someone and decide to further our interest in an individual we move from the dating to the courting stage.  The courting stages are where you learn more about the other person and have the mindset of this being a possibility that may lead toward marriage.  This is the best stage to start asking questions about what one another wants out of marriage and having a family and their goals for their future.  It is very pointless and time wasting when a couple are at this stage where one or both individuals dont have the mindset of seeing their relationship developing into a marriage.

When we are engaged the church has said "long courtship, short engagement".  Satan always tries to hinder the work of the Lord when major decisions are being made such as a temple marriage.  If their is a long engagement there may be temptations that may arise for a couple that may hinder the couple from worthily receive the promised blessings found in the House of the Lord.  This is also another stage where you continue to discuss the future family as well as the wedding.  "Many couples plan the wedding, but not many plan the marriage."