Children Ranks in the World

This was taken from a general conference address by Neil L. Anderson titled "Children" It really made me think where I hold child bearing in respect of the things of the world.

This following quote is from a Christian not of our faith, she says, "Many voices in the world today marginalize the importance of having children or suggest delaying or limiting children in a family. My daughters recently referred me to a blog written by a Christian mother (not of our faith) with five children. She commented: “[Growing] up in this culture, it is very hard to get a biblical perspective on motherhood. … Children rank way below college. Below world travel for sure. Below the ability to go out at night at your leisure. Below honing your body at the gym. Below any job you may have or hope to get.” She then adds: “Motherhood is not a hobby, it is a calling. You do not collect children because you find them cuter than stamps. It is not something to do if you can squeeze the time in. It is what God gave you time for."

So why do we have kids?  Or why do we put off having kids? I hope we involve the Lord in the decision making process for deciding the answer to either of those questions.  Child raising is such a blessing to those that can have the opportunity to be able to do so.  I haven't had the opportunity to make that decision yet, but I look forward to the day that I become a father.  

Parenting Disppointment and Support Systems

I was able to watch some parenting videos this week for my homework for classes.  They were the cheesy 80s videos we all love and loathe at the same time.  Some of the videos did not work while others I was glad worked for me to be able to view them and better help myself in being able to parent better as well as increase my problem solving skills with those that come to me for advice.

I was able to see how a parent can discourage a child through their interactions.
 Expecting too little-Often kids can become depressed when their parents have no confidence in their ability to achieve whatever they strive to accomplish.  A parent whether they believe their child can succeed or not should be supportive of their child's decision and actions that they make.

Focusing on mistakes-There can be nothing more destructive to the ego of a child than a parent that constantly dwells on the past with the errors that occurred.  In the video I learned that a child's brain isn't fully developed where they have the best judgement or decision making skills that an adult may have.  That is why often a parent will say "why didn't you do this instead?" and the child hadn't even thought of that possibility.  Parents should try to correct mistakes, but try as best as they can and not constantly dwell or bring up the past, otherwise a child will constantly feel guilty with no thought or experience of redemption. 
Expecting too much-Children often feel like they are under pressure when they don't meet their parents expectations.  They have the feeling of failure when they don't succeed.  I believe that the parents that are defined in the Family Proclamation will be accepting of their children, but punish accordingly.  If it is something menial like not winning a spelling bee competition the parent should let go of it, but if its something of breaking a commandment of God then a parent in love and care should discipline according to what they did. 
Overprotecting-The world is a dangerous place and with all the noise of the world that is thrown at kids its hard to protect them from it.  I honestly don't hold it against parents when they overprotect because they have the best intentions, but that is not a positive growth pattern for a child to develop.  When birds are hatched from eggs they need to break out on their own to build their strength to be ready for the world.  If there is help or assistance often the chicks aren't strong enough to survive and pass away soon after.  I think the same with those parents that overprotect their kids.  They can harm their child's growth when they interfere sometimes when they try to control more than what is typical for a growing child to experience.

The following is a list of how parents can encourage their kids in a positive manner.
Show confidence-Our children are constantly being bombarded by the world such as acceptance with peers, achieving good grades, and anything else they may be struggling with in their lives.  A child doesn't need more trouble to have a parent that is unsupported in the child.  A positive way to build a child so there is a greater bond between the child and parent is to show your confidence in your child's abilities and talents.  Your child will be able to achieve higher when they have a parent backing them in whatever they strive for when they know their parents are wanting them to succeed.
Build on strengths-When a child has a talent they can have a parent build on that strength by helping them use or assist in it.  I would like to talk about my personal life for a second.  I have a heavy background in graphic design and almost achieved an associates before swapping to a degree that was quicker to achieve (that is a story of itself).  My mother was ward activities coordinator for some time.  My mother showed me she valued my talents with graphic design by asking me not to do, but to assist her in making flyers and posters for events to place at the church for people to attend to.  This example dips a little into the next area, but I felt valued and appreciated in my strengths when my mother asked for assistance in these areas. 
Learn to value-
Stimulate independence-Allowing a child to grow on their own lets them to reach adulthood much greater in a healthy fashion.  It goes back to the principle of the birds with the eggs, a child growing on their own will be well prepared and ready to face on the world, head on.


I am grateful for being able to learn these principles and able to apply them to my life so that I can prepare now for my interactions I will have with my children.  I hope to stay positive and promote happy and healthy interaction with my children so they can develop to the best of their ability.

Bringing Light Home

 

Terry Olson, a professor of family life, tells an excellent story of filling life with light. He describes a situation where many of us would be annoyed and frustrated. Yet this man apparently rose (at least on this occasion) above an unhelpful reaction.  I hope that one day I will become just as this man in being a positive husband to help bring brightness into the home to make it a pleasant experience for all those that dwell there in.

The wife of a long-distance truck driver is worried about dinner being late. She and her husband always celebrate his return from his three or four days on the road with a quiet dinner. Although he is a little later than she expected, she is grateful she has not yet heard the brakes of the big rig in front of the house, because she wants the whole thing to be ready, and it’s not. Alas, there is the noise she had been both dreading and hoping for. She begins to imagine his coming in the back door, hanging up his jacket and then, before washing up, leaning around the hall entrance and smiling a greeting. She worries he will see the unset table and discover the unready meal. She is worried that his face will fall, that he will think his homecoming is no longer a big deal or will not include the spirit of welcome she typically offers. In other words, she is imagining him being offended—perhaps even resentful—at her unpreparedness. She worries he will hold it against her. Her imaginings seem absolutely realistic to her.

Her husband, however, presents her with an alternative reality. When he actually does lean around the corner and sees that dinner preparations are incomplete, he smiles, catches her eye, and says, “Hi, honey. Looks like I got here just in time to help. Be right there.”