Parenting Disppointment and Support Systems

I was able to watch some parenting videos this week for my homework for classes.  They were the cheesy 80s videos we all love and loathe at the same time.  Some of the videos did not work while others I was glad worked for me to be able to view them and better help myself in being able to parent better as well as increase my problem solving skills with those that come to me for advice.

I was able to see how a parent can discourage a child through their interactions.
 Expecting too little-Often kids can become depressed when their parents have no confidence in their ability to achieve whatever they strive to accomplish.  A parent whether they believe their child can succeed or not should be supportive of their child's decision and actions that they make.

Focusing on mistakes-There can be nothing more destructive to the ego of a child than a parent that constantly dwells on the past with the errors that occurred.  In the video I learned that a child's brain isn't fully developed where they have the best judgement or decision making skills that an adult may have.  That is why often a parent will say "why didn't you do this instead?" and the child hadn't even thought of that possibility.  Parents should try to correct mistakes, but try as best as they can and not constantly dwell or bring up the past, otherwise a child will constantly feel guilty with no thought or experience of redemption. 
Expecting too much-Children often feel like they are under pressure when they don't meet their parents expectations.  They have the feeling of failure when they don't succeed.  I believe that the parents that are defined in the Family Proclamation will be accepting of their children, but punish accordingly.  If it is something menial like not winning a spelling bee competition the parent should let go of it, but if its something of breaking a commandment of God then a parent in love and care should discipline according to what they did. 
Overprotecting-The world is a dangerous place and with all the noise of the world that is thrown at kids its hard to protect them from it.  I honestly don't hold it against parents when they overprotect because they have the best intentions, but that is not a positive growth pattern for a child to develop.  When birds are hatched from eggs they need to break out on their own to build their strength to be ready for the world.  If there is help or assistance often the chicks aren't strong enough to survive and pass away soon after.  I think the same with those parents that overprotect their kids.  They can harm their child's growth when they interfere sometimes when they try to control more than what is typical for a growing child to experience.

The following is a list of how parents can encourage their kids in a positive manner.
Show confidence-Our children are constantly being bombarded by the world such as acceptance with peers, achieving good grades, and anything else they may be struggling with in their lives.  A child doesn't need more trouble to have a parent that is unsupported in the child.  A positive way to build a child so there is a greater bond between the child and parent is to show your confidence in your child's abilities and talents.  Your child will be able to achieve higher when they have a parent backing them in whatever they strive for when they know their parents are wanting them to succeed.
Build on strengths-When a child has a talent they can have a parent build on that strength by helping them use or assist in it.  I would like to talk about my personal life for a second.  I have a heavy background in graphic design and almost achieved an associates before swapping to a degree that was quicker to achieve (that is a story of itself).  My mother was ward activities coordinator for some time.  My mother showed me she valued my talents with graphic design by asking me not to do, but to assist her in making flyers and posters for events to place at the church for people to attend to.  This example dips a little into the next area, but I felt valued and appreciated in my strengths when my mother asked for assistance in these areas. 
Learn to value-
Stimulate independence-Allowing a child to grow on their own lets them to reach adulthood much greater in a healthy fashion.  It goes back to the principle of the birds with the eggs, a child growing on their own will be well prepared and ready to face on the world, head on.


I am grateful for being able to learn these principles and able to apply them to my life so that I can prepare now for my interactions I will have with my children.  I hope to stay positive and promote happy and healthy interaction with my children so they can develop to the best of their ability.