Hope you Know we had a Hard Time

Quote of the Week:  
“Trials teach us what we are; they dig up the soil, and let us see what we are made of; they just turn up some of the ill weeds on to the surface.”


This week we were able to learn about crises or I like to better call them, trials.  There is a classification of trials that I thought was very interesting that I would like to point out before I begin my thoughts on trials...

There are six different areas to classify trials and stress-or events. 
 
Internal/External
        Internal – Events that begin from someone inside the family, such as getting drunk, suicide, or running for election.
        External – Events that begin from someone or something outside the family, such as earthquakes, terrorism, the inflation rate, or cultural attitudes toward women and minorities.
 
Normative/Nonnormative
        Normative - Events that are expected to happen over the family life cycle.
        Nonnormative - Events that are unexpected such as the lottery, divorce, etc... but it doesn't have to be disastrous all the time. 

Ambiguous/Nonambiguous
        Ambiguous – You can’t get the facts surrounding the event. It’s so unclear that you’re not even sure that it’s happening to you and your family.
        Nonambiguous – Clear facts are available about the event: what is happening, when, how long, 
and to whom.
 
Volitional/Nonvolitional
        Volitional – Events that are wanted and sought out, such as a freely chosen job change, a college entrance, or a wanted pregnancy.
        Nonvolitional – Events that are not sought out but just happen, such as being laid off or the sudden loss of someone loved.
 
Chronic/Acute
        Chronic – A situation that has long duration, such as diabetes, chemical addiction, or racial discrimination.
        Acute – An event that lasts a short time but is severe, such as breaking a limb, losing a job, or flunking a test.
 
Cumulative/Isolated
        Cumulative – Events that pile up, one right after the other, so that there is no resolution before the next one occurs. A dangerous situation in most cases.
        Isolated – An event that occurs alone, at least with no other events apparent at that time. It can be pinpointed easily. 
 
We were able to talk in class about how there are different kinds of abuse (physical, emotional, verbal, and sexual).  The last kind of abuse mentioned seems to have the most damaging affects on the mind.  When there are two kinds of conflicts one that occurs in the home and one outside the home the one in the home seems to be the most damaging.  Like Bro. Williams was able to explain in class, "would you rather a grenade to go off in your backyard or kitchen? They both will have huge effects, but the one in the home will greatly affect more than the destruction in the backyard".  It made me think of the family proclamation and how we need to create a home "a place of refuge" from evils of the world.  I feel that I need to keep that home clean of all abuse that may be out there, otherwise it would be so bad for a child that their personal place of refuge is just another battle ground.  My heart goes out to those individuals that can't find peace in comfort in their own home walls and are constantly on alert for any potential threat.  I hope that we all try to create that environment to make it equally pleasant for the child as it is for the parent.  

I personally don't have all the answers to coping with stress, but I like a line that stuck out to me in the text, Lauer says "Whatever the particular crisis you face, there are always alternative ways of dealing with it.  You can't control all of the things that happen in your life, but you can control the way you respond to them." 

There are different ways of coping with trials and Im not going to go great into dept as to what was discussed and taught, but I will tell you this.  Trials tend to shape an individual and make them go to a lower state than what they were previously at.  It can be very difficult to overcome and revert back to that state that one previously held.  But know this, I am twenty-three years old and in minutes that is 12572325 Minutes.  Try and think of an incident that changed your mentality or behavior.  When that event occurred how long did it take to happen?  These events that may be several minutes shouldn't have such lasting affects into what we have already invested time wise and let it not influence the time that you will develop in the future with yourself.  I don't know if that is explained as good as I think it was explained to me, but don't let these small moments of struggle and hardship affect you too greatly.